j dilla

one of the greatest of all time...

he passed away this morning in an l.a. hospital...

After quietly serving as a member of A Tribe Called Quest's production team, the Ummah, and scoring hits for Busta Rhymes, De La Soul and Pharcyde, Detroit producer Jay Dee became known as a major hip-hop prospect by the late 90s. The hip-hop community took notice of his no-frills, breakbeat-heavy hip-hop style as he helped craft albums for Common (Like Water for Chocolate), Q Tip (Amplified), and the debut for his own group Slum Village (Fan-Tas-Tic Vol. 1).

By the time of his major-label debut with Slum Village's Fantastic, Vol. 2 in 2000, Jay Dee was recognized as one of hip-hop's most admired and desired producers. Jay Dee's debut as a solo artist came in 2001 with the single "Fuck the Police" and the album "Welcome to Detroit" on BBE.

After assuming the name J Dilla, he joined the Stones Throw roster in 2003, forming Jaylib with fellow producer/MC Madlib, and relocated from Detroit to Los Angeles. The duo released the "The Red" b/w "The Official" in 2003, followed by the album "Champion Sound" and a tour the following spring.

When Pharrell Williams was asked about his favorite hip-hop producer during a BET interview in 2004 he replied, "You may not know his name, but J Dilla, Jay Dee from Detroit." Indeed, the interviewer didn't know J Dilla has eluded the spotlight, preferring the studio to the stage or video. His work is mostly released by independents, for different groups, and under different names, but his core audience and cult status has grown. His pirated beat tapes (instrumentals, raw working material for rappers) have become something of urban legend, as their circulation from hand to hand and over the internet have led to a black market of Dilla beat tape collectors.
Despite contributing two tracks to Common's career-resurrecting "Be" this year, it's been a quiet time for Dilla. So where has he been? A cover story in URB (Mar 2004) made public his recent, sudden struggle with illness, and recently rumors began circulating again about health emergencies and hospitalization. Asked about this in XXL (June 2005), Dilla himself partially confirmed these stories. "The rumors were like, 'Jay Dee is dead' and all that, but I was just in the hospital. I was in ICU, with all types of tubes. It was crazy."

Working both from his home studio and while hospitalized from a portable sound system including turntable, samplers, and small boxes of vinyl brought in and out from visitors Dilla continued making music at his usual non-stop pace, circulating beats to MCs, and coming up with the foundation of what would become "Donuts".

Begun simply enough as a production beat tape, "Donuts" evolved into a project as unusual as the environment in which it was created. It's a hip-hop album without MC's. An album of electronic music that at times sounds like a 70s soul mixtape. Its abrupt transitions and numerous interludes might make you think you're rapidly turning the radio dial in some strange city where every station is programmed by a certain Detroit hip-hop producer. "Donuts" is J Dilla doing what he does best crafting hip-hop, soul and electronic music into his own sound.

And a few have asked, "What's up with the title?" Easy explanation. Dilla likes donuts

Rules for Surviving a Horror Movie

tru dat...

• When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.
• If you find that your house was built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed necrophilia or satanic practices, move away immediately.
• Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
• Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
• As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
• If you find a town that looks deserted, it's probably that way for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.
  
• If you're searching for something that caused a mysterious noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
  
• Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're really sure you know what you are doing.
  
• If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
  
• Do not keep all your sharpened kitchen knives in one of those wooden blocks on your work surface.
  
• When you're searching a house because you think there's something dangerous there, for God's sake turn the lights on!
  
• Never back out of one room into another without looking. It's always behind you.
  
• Never, ever, ever turn off the paved road onto a gravel or dirt road.
  
• Always make sure that your car has a fresh battery and a full tank of gas so it will start immediately in times of crisis.
  
• Never say that you'll be right back, because you won't.
  
• Never stand in, on, above, below, beside or anywhere near a grave, crypt, tomb, mausoleum, or any other house of the dead.
  
• If anything other than water (i.e., blood or thick goo of any color) comes out of a faucet, do not call a plumber. Leave the house immediately.
  
• If, while looking in a mirror, you see a figure behind you that you don't see upon turning around, a room different from the one you are in, or a figure other than yourself looking back, or your reflection tells you to get out before it is too late, proceed to the nearest exit with all speed.
  
• If you open a door and the room you see is not the room that should be there, do not explore it. In fact, even if you close the door and see the correct room after re-opening it, vacate the house.
  
• When the family pet runs away, DO NOT GO LOOKING FOR IT -- pets are usually not killed, and even if they are, it's just a warm-up for the next, human victim.
  
• Never unlock the doors and look outside.
  
• If it's late at night and your dog suddenly perks up his ears and growls lowly in his throat, never EVER say "Whassa matter Boy? Gotta go out?"
  
• If you use gasoline to destroy your attacker, make sure your Zippo is in fine working order. Also, make sure it's not the one your grandfather used in WWII because you have to throw it away with a witty one-liner.
  
• Make sure you get up early enough so you can kill the vampires during the day.
  When you are trapped in a strange old house with your date, NEVER say: "Let's try the basement!" or "Look! The stairs up to the attic!"
  
• When approaching a room with a door that hasn't been opened in decades, and the knob begins to slowly turn back and forth on its own, back away! Do NOT ask loudly, "Who's there?"
  
• When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or go it alone.
  
• If appliances start operating by themselves, MOVE OUT.
  
• Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
  
• If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as soon as possible!
  
• If your car runs out of gas at night, DO NOT go to the nearest deserted-looking house to phone for help.
  
• Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog, the Bemuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
  Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chain saws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawn mowers, butane torches, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.
  
• Listen closely to the sound track and pay attention to the audience, since they are usually far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be.
  
• If you are running for your life and are being chased by a monster/psychopath/axe murderer and you happen to be female, take the high-heeled shoes OFF!
  
• Also, if you've just pushed the monster/psychopath/axe murderer in the lake from your boat dock or a bridge, don't lean over to see if he's gone!
  
• When confronted by the walking dead, aim for the head.
  
• If you're female, never EVER take off your shirt. They like to attack you when your bejoobies are hanging out.
  
• Lock your darn doors, make sure the gas tank is full, and if you hit something that was weird looking, make the cops go look and see what it was.
  
• If the creepy bag lady of the town tries to give you some advice, TAKE IT! For some reason she always seems to know what she is talking about during her brief moments of lucidity.
  
• Join the police or the military right away! That way, you won't be anywhere near the monster until it's really dead.
  
• Remember, the monster cannot be stopped by bullets, the army or an atomic bomb. Only a mob bearing pitchforks and torches will be able to inflict significant damage.
  
• Monsters are generally radioactive, so always carry a Geiger counter in your car.
  When confronted with a large, animated flying reptile, aim for the wires.
  
• If you can get around the creature, and get to the zipper on his back, you can render him helpless.
  
• If you are female, and intend to go swimming in a haunted pool/black lagoon/deserted lake, a white one-piece bathing suit is de rigueur.
  
• Girls, if you are going on a date to Lovers Lane, make sure you are wearing shoes with proper ankle support. Statistically you will turn an ankle and the creature will get you.
  Avoid going to isolated research stations whenever possible. Arctic weather stations, foreboding pacific atolls, distant space stations, and island bases for gene-splicing corporations top the list.
  When finding a meteor/egg sac/fetal creature of any kind, step away! DO NOT give in to the diabolical urge to poke it with a stick.
  Unless you are in the company of Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy and their talking dog, the creature/ghost coming at you is most likely REAL.
  
• If you see some strange, globulous, slimy, pulsating thing in your house, don't mutter "What the hell?" to yourself and reach for it.
  
• If some guy comes to your door who looks exactly like an ancestor of yours who "died" 200 years before, claiming to be a cousin from England, SHUT THE DOOR!
  
• When killer bees, flesh eating worms, or Cujo have trapped you in your car, make sure to turn OFF the oldies station. It just seems to excite them.
  
• Always check the back seat of your car.
  
• The first time that you are absolutely sure that the monster/killer is dead or the hellgate is finally closed forever, you are in the most danger. Don't relax.
  
• Objects moving in a mysterious fashion should be considered a very bad sign.
  
• If, on a stormy night, you find a window open which you thought was previously closed, do not close it. It may be your only way out when whatever has come in through it is chasing you.
  
• If you come into possession of a strange old artifact and any exotic person (old wizened oriental, gypsy, Indian medicine man) warns you to do/not do something, do not do just the opposite in order to demonstrate how silly he/she is.
  
• Anniversary nights of executions, horrible murders, or terrifying rituals should be viewed with fear. Especially on the spot where the event took place. Most especially on even century anniversaries. And certainly if you or a friend is somehow descended from one of the original participants.
  
• If one of your group is missing for a while and, upon returning, no longer seems as frightened, assuring you that there is really nothing to be worried about, do not let him/her get behind you. He/she has joined the other side.
  
• If your friend turns into a demon and then suddenly turns back to normal, kill him because he is not normal!
  
• After you kill the maniac, don't stand anywhere near the body and don't drop the gun, knife or other instrument of death because (1) he is not dead and (2) you will be needing the instrument of death again.
  
• Kill the person in the group who suggests that you split up. That will eventually get you killed.
  
• Kill the greedy person in the group. He/she will eventually get you killed.
  
• Never make fun of the local yokel's stories about deformed killer babies in backwoods towns--you can bet they are real and you might get them angry.
  
• Never be with the group who plays vicious pranks on the shy strange new kid. Those pranksters will soon meet their doom and often in a horribly gory way.
  
• If someone in your group is too scared to shoot when the monster is bearing down on you, grab the gun and shoot the monster yourself, or use your weapon to kill both the monster and your friend, especially if there are more monsters around. Your friend was dead weight.
  
• Go ahead and slap the screaming hysterical girl because she will be the one to distract everyone when there really is danger.
  
• Nothing is ever over if it is still nighttime.
  
• If it seems as though you have just woken up from a horrible nightmare, chances are you are still in grave danger.
  
• Take heed of all warnings from animals and children. They usually know more than you do.
  
• When fleeing some peril (mutant rats, lava, Oakland Raiders fans, etc.), do not keep turning around to see how close it is/they are behind you. This slows you down and increases your chances of getting caught by said peril.
  
• Never run to the top floor of any building if you are being chased by a maniac/monster. Your only way out will be to jump.
  
• Never publicly announce your plans for the future if you make it out alive. It guarantees that you have no future.
  
• Never under any circumstances run upstairs if you are being chased.
  
• If you're ever lost in the woods filming a documentary, don't stop and collect little stick figures.
  
• Never trust your best boy/girl friend. As soon as the monster or spirt can, it's going to take over his/her mind and that friend will turn on you.
  
• If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.
  
• Don't make fun of or play with dead things.
  
• If you see a town that looks deserted except for children, do not try to "help" them - they will eat you.
  
• Whenever you land on a distant planet and find some objects that look like eggs, leave them alone.
  
• Do not allow crewmates back aboard the craft if you find hideous parasites attached to their bodies.
  
• Be forewarned that a gun is good only for ALMOST killing the monster, never for COMPLETELY killing it. Be sure to have an extra weapon, preferably one with a "flair" (a knife, a harpoon, a heavy box, razor confetti, pop tarts, etc.)
  
• Don't open the closed door, especially if you hear scratching, heavy breathing, or the voice of a dear relative whom you THOUGHT was dead.
  
• Never bathe, especially when in the house alone.
  
• Never camp or build homes on Indian burial grounds.
  
• If the phone lines are dead, and you hear footsteps upstairs, and you say "Tom, Tom is that you?" and Tom does not answer, run away.
  
• If you have to run away, taking a bus is your best bet. If you take a car, the monster will be in it.
  
• Never bring the cat or any member of your family back from the dead.
  
• Try to make friends with someone from your own species. If your only friends are rats, insects or anyone who is invisible, you are going to DIE.
  
• If you realize that a car has been operating on its own, get away from it immediately. Do not touch it, and above all, NEVER get in, especially in the driver's seat!
  
• If your child or infant seems especially bright, beautiful, AND has piercing blue eyes, kill it immediately. If you can't do that, have a priest or retired mystery writer do it for you.
• Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you lean over a cliff, shimmy out on a tree branch, cross a train tressle, or climb a ladder to rescue the tyke from certain death - it is a TRAP.
  
• Never accept a job as a camp counselor.
  
• Do NOT drink alcohol if you are underage.
  
• Never turn off the radio or TV when an emergency news bulletin is on - unless you want to be in the next bulletin.
  
• If someone tells you "Wait right here," heed that person's order and don't go anywhere.
  
• Never assme that everything is going to be all right. It won't be.
  
• Never go for a walk by yourself, especially in the wilderness.
  
• Don't mockingly go "Oo-ee-oo!" to jokes about how creepy something is.
  
• When the monster is running after you, run out the door rather than up the stairs.

And the #1 rule for surviving a horror movie:
DON'T HAVE SEX!!!

If you're the monster:

• If you're after the final survivor, take a break, go buy a gun, and take him or her out from a distance, avoiding all electrical lines, magic knives and heavy weights from above.
  
• Always remember to eat the small kids FIRST, because if you don't they're going to find a way to defeat you when all the adults fail.

girl, get me another drink

a real woman knows how to hold her liquor, yo... although i am pretty good at 11 & 13 ha!

1. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE MY PURSE IS.

2. I BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH MY ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING MY BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

3. I'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED I WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE I COULD DO IT TOO.

4. IN MY LAST TRIP TO PEE, I REALIZE I NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS I WAS JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.

5. I DROP MY 3:00 A.M. SUBMARINE SANDWICH ON THE FLOOR (WHICH I'M EATING EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT THE LEAST BIT HUNGRY), PICK IT UP AND CARRY ON EATING IT.

6. I START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE I SEE THAT I LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.

7. I GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

8. I'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO ME.

9. THE MAN I'M FLIRTING WITH USED TO BE MY 5TH GRADE TEACHER.

10. THE URGE TO TAKE OFF ARTICLES OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A TABLE AND SING OR DANCE BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING.

11. MY EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN SO I KEEP THEM HALF CLOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS EXOTICALLY SEXY.

12. I'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

13. I YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO (I THINK) CHEATED ME BY GIVING ME JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.

14. I THINK I'M IN BED, BUT MY PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR

15. I START EVERY CONVERSATION WITH A BOOMING, "DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY BUT..."

16. I FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN I SIT ON IT.

17. MY HUGS BEGIN TO RESEMBLE WRESTLING TAKE-DOWN MOVES.

18. I'M TIRED SO I JUST SIT ON THE FLOOR (WHEREVER I HAPPEN TO BE STANDING) AND TAKE A QUICK NAP.

19. I BEGIN LEAVING THE BUTTONS OPEN ON MY BUTTON FLY PANTS TO CUTDOWN ON THE TIME I'M IN THE BATHROOM AWAY FROM MY DRINK.

20. I TAKE MY SHOES OFF BECAUSE I BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT I'M HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

SEND THIS ALONG TO ALL THE GIRLS YOU KNOW WHO LIKE TO HAVE FUN; MAKE THEM LAUGH AT THEMSELVES LIKE YOU PROBABLY DID...

not written by me, but i think it's funny.

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
29: Pull out

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below.

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion.The International Council of Manhood, Ltd

mother

so.... i rented Ma Mere from blockbuster.com right, all excited to see some incestuous mother son sex action, and while falling asleep 30 minutes into this boring ass film, REALIZED I HAVE THE FUCKING BLOCKBUSTER EDITED VERSION. so i quit, and now i gots netflix.

incest, here i come!!!

i just watched goblet of fire, and oh my gosh am i a pedophile b/c i would so totally do it with daniel radcliffe.

i have some paintings up at a local cafe. i havent painted in years, i havent shown my work in years, and i really didnt like the idea of showing at a cafe (im an art snob sometimes, i know) but my friend janice asked me to participate in a show she was putting together and because she is my friend and she asked me, i said yes. i thanked her tonight, got me to painting again and it feels really really good. im really happy w/the work i put up, really proud. the reception was tonight and none of my friends came. not a one. the turn out overall was very small, less than 10 people total. *sigh*
i rather expected that, though. if you are doing music or poetry, its hard to get people to come out. guh, who knows what happens that makes an event a hit. its even harder if youre a painter.the visual arts world is far more removed i suppose. and dayum people are busy, the weather sucks right now, i didnt tell a ton of people. ha, see how i just shifted my sadness to logic and excuses?
but ME tho, i always try to come out to events i hear about, especially if it involves someone i know. just yesterday, i was at the cafe hanging my paintings and saw a flyer for a hip hop event going on that day. all day 10am-10pm at sdsu, no cover, asking for donations of food, toys and clothes. after i finished at the cafe, i went to vons and bought a bag of groceries and went to sdsu, cold and hail and all. i did this b/c i had the time, b/c i love hip hop, b/c events like this are beautiful and positive and i want to support them. i only stayed for about an hour, but i feel good about myself that i went. andi was happy it was a fair turnout, imsure there were more people later in the event (it was maybe 5pm when i was there). i am happy for hip hop that the event looked like it went well, this cold ass weather and all. but well now thats not all true, i dont ALWAYS come out, there've been plenty of times where i said i'd be there and then wasnt. ha, see how i just did the "nobody's perfect" excuse?
but anyway. no one came to my event today and i guess i am feeling a little sorry for myself.
im wishing right now i was stronger. that i could never mind about it and shrug it off. but well i am crazy really most of the time i think, i am not well, i am mentally ill... when people do see my work, they shower praises and i feel like i dont want to be bothered with them. and now here i am left alone and i have the nerve to be offended by it. ha, see how i just blamed my sadness on my illness?
who do i want my audience to be, then? i miss being around other artists. i miss the other art students at school. painting every day, working and talking with each other, being art active. i should go to moca every month. every week. i should be reading art magazines. where do i need to be, where are the visual artists, where are the other painters. i need to find them. i need them around me. i wouldnt care so much that my friends arent around, so long as other painters were maybe. maybe. maybe i dont want to be sad over my friends, instead i want to push blame to myself for not making effort to find other painters. maybe... theres this numb feeling i get, here it is again. im confused. makes me stop for a moment, stare at nothing, then then my eyes get hot and well up and i cry.