vanilla ice

i dont have cable. i miss it sometimes but im not really home to watch it so... meh. but oh sometimes i miss celebreality on vh1! remember the surreal life with vanilla ice? that was one of my favorites. i really feel for vanilla, for reals.

it strikes me as odd on the occasion a friend comments that i hate white people. yeah, ive said it a few times out of anger but amongst my friends, its never a statement i would use to characterize myself. i do have black love and black pride, though. people often mistake black consciousness w/white hate, its not the same thing. i dont have to put down another group in order to uplift my own. thats a white practice anyways...

but in surreal life, there was an episode where vanilla was doing his private interview confessional thing, and crackin on that woman, i dont know her name... she was on baywatch or something, and she was a model? but anyways, he was going on about how spoiled and materialistic she was. and it was true, watching this show i was all, "that girl is crazy." but anyways, she overheard everything he said about her. ouch.

so she confronts him after, telling him he has no right to judge, that she is a black woman in america (i was all, "dayum, she's black?") came from nothing and worked her way up. she lives a certain lifestyle and its her choice, she's earned every penny she spends, etc. And vanilla sits there this whole time sat and listened to her go off. when she finishes, he says nothing for a moment, and then says, "you know what, youre right. im sorry for what i said. i had no right to judge you."

how fucking cool is that!? i just thought that was so honest and genuine and rare, to really stop and listen to a person you've angered instead of yell back and fight them. and more importantly, to have the guts to rethink your own position and apologize if you think youre wrong. go on, vanilla. youre alright w/me for reals. we should all hope to be as intellegent as you were in that scenario.

and in case anyone really needs to know, i did not like vanilla ice when he was hot in the 90's b/c he's white. it angered me that he was getting so much praise when there were black mcees that outshined him.

nasa

the first astronauts realized thier pens didnt work in space.

they spent millions of dollars to develop a pen

that could write with or without gravity

anywhere, anytime.

nasa made it.

the russians used pencils.

movies that make you cry

i edited this list b/c it was really fucking long. i took out a lot of the repeats. nearly every movie on this list has made me cry, except passion of the christ. im sorry,that shit wasnt nothing but a snuff film, i had to take like 4 showers after i saw that one.

*************

Any film that has made you cry or has nearly made you cry... or for those guys not willing to admit they cried, what film has moved you the most? LETS GO!

• Gaynor - Big Fish
• Natasha- the fox and the hound
• Lenny - The land before time
• Ian-The Never Ending Story*tear*
• Caoimhe - Pocahontas*sob*
• Brandon - Lion King
• Jesika - Philadelphia
• Kirsten~ Pocahontas (only lately tho coz i watched the 2nd one and the SLUT doesnt end up with john smith!!)
• Lyndsay- song for a raggy boy( awww its so sad never cried as much in my life *tear*)
• Rachel-pearl harbour
• Tommy - Revolver, Words cannot express the emotions that film stirs
• Siofra - The Moulin Rouge... My gawd, the tears for moulin rouge!
• James- GHOST... staring patrick swayzzz haha, why did he have to dye??? WHYYYYYY!!!!!!
• Sarah - Pay It Forward
• Dave-why has no one said Bambi -so sad it got banned in germany *to traumatic for kids*
• Stephen-Inside im dancing
• Samantha-The Notebook *tear rolls down cheek*
• Jenn- A walk to remember
• Ray - You'll be sorry you ask because when it comes to sad movies (I'm like Teresa Brewer sings in that old 50s song)...they always make me cry :D"The Notebook" (I literally blubbered outloud in movie theatre at the ending and yes everyone stared my way); "A Walk to Remember"; "Message in a Bottle"; "The Cure"; "The War"; "The Mighty"; I could go on and on...when it comes to sad movies - I'm a cream-puff. So there ~ I admitted it!!! How many other men will do the same?~
• IRMA~SWEET HOME ALABAMA... CITY OF ANGELS... SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE.. TITANIC,50 FIRST DATES,AND, OMG, ANY FREAKIN MOVIE WHERE THE GUY IS HOPELESSLY SWEET AN LOOKS AT THE GIRL SO FREAKIN ADORINGLY......*SIGNS LOUDLY*...I WANT THAT 2....:-(
• Joe~ Blackhawk Down really messed me up for days......no crying though
• Deb~Passion of the Christ
• Aimez~Any Tom hanks movie has made me cry.. the list is endless.. what can i say ima puss
• Sara--Radio (shut up! his mom died)
• Johnny b - Finding Neverland. Took everything i had not to cry. I even stabbed myself with a knife, to stop. Great show.
• Sylvia ~ Armageddon
• Will ~~Big Fish. I bawled for so long after this movie. I called up my dad immediately and told him I loved him.
• Gloria ~ Wuthering Heights. After it's over I have to go hug my Heathcliff <3
• Sir Victor Magnus -- Saving Private Ryan
• ^v^Nyte^v^ ~ "What Dreams May Come"
• Ashe~Wrestling Earnest Hemmingway just a true friends story i would say the male beaches without the childhood.
• ~tiNa~ TITANIC....cried till i was fuckin exausted!.... lol
• RICTUS~~ THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK(WHEN LUKE HAD HIS HAND CUT OFF) AND SATURN 3 (WHEN THE INSANELY JEALOUS, AND SEXXXXXUALLY FRUSTRATED ROBOT "HECTOR" WENT ON A FUCKING KILLING SPREE!).....THAT'LL TRAUMITIZE(SP) A YOUNG NEGRO!
• LaiBalls - The end of Terminator 2 (when the T-800 went into the molten metal), All Dogs Go to Heaven (it was just sad in general) and The Land Before Time (when Littlefoots mother died). That just about scarred me for life!
• Ms. Holly - The end of "16 Candles"...when Jake Ryan waves at her from across the Street.
• "March of the Penguins" when the Baby penguin freezes to death and the Daddy penguin tries to get him to move (BAWL!).
• Dixie Whiskey-The Devil's Rejects lol...and Where the Red Fern Grows.
• Mia Pet - My Dog Skip. I cried so hard that my eyes were puffy and my head aches the next day.
• Rikki - Dead Poet's Society
• me - Tarka The Otter
• Faye - Powder (I'm choked up through the entire movie
• sha-diggity~lilo and stitch (this is my family... i found them, all by myself. it's small, and a little bit broken, but still good. yeah, still good.. *blinking hard*im crying as i type this, for real...)
• heavily Medicated~ i couldnt STOP crying at the end of schindlers list. i was bawling, yelling at the screen, "Youre a good man, schindler!!! youre a GOOD man!"
• senora san pedro~the color purple. when shug goes into the church singing to her daddy, whispering to him, "see daddy, sinners have soul too" and then he hugs her back! thats family, goddamit! *sniffle*

quiz bits

2. Last person you kissed?
malcolm... who i just found out, after sleeping with him for 3 days now, is actually named Marko. his accent is heavy so i guess thats why i been using the wrong name but dayumn couldnt he have corrected me a couple of days ago??? he's from sudan. tall dark brotha, 6'5" and black as my shoes.

5. Last thing you ate?
an ethiopian dish, beans and carrots, i dont know what its called.
(edit: according to google, maybe this dish is Foseliana Carrot)

33. What were you doing before you filled this out?
emailing ima.

34. Any pets?
rosie and goldfish, both cats. uh,those were their names before i got them.

42. Who would you like to see right now?
kuya charles. my friend in ghana. he's my brother. i love him.

43. Are you still friends with your ex's?
ive only had like maybe 2 actual boyfriends, and im not friends w/either of them. but i have had sex with like 60 men, and im still friends with every one of them. i just saw chore today, actually, all whats up happy good to see you hugs and stuff.

47. If you can be with someone right now, who would it be?
my cat, goldfish.

48. How many pillows do you sleep with?
three

49. Are you missing someone?
my brother

woman. not female.

i really dont like it when we refer to women as females.

female is a scientific term, we use it for animals.

i am not an animal. i am a woman.

we dont refer to men as males, dammit.

no, im not being overly sensitive or overly politically correct

(b/c i think there is no such thing, but leave that for another time),

but i do belive that word choice is important.

k, thats all, thank you.

B O D Y- [my name is]: as of aug 25, it's Sha Alemu Mekebeb
[in the morning I am]: stilll at work, holding shit down at the 211. i dont get off until 8:30am.
[all I need is]: carols daughter tui hair oil. its how i want to smell all the time, sweet earthy, and a little like candy.
[love is]: really great, i recommend everybody use it.
[I'm afraid of]: those green flying beetles. they dive right for your head.
[I dream about]: meeting the family in ethiopia

-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-
[smoke cigarettes]: smoked cloves in high school, but nothing since.
[could you live without the computer?]: I could but wouldn't want to
[what's your favourite food?]: Harar's number 17, green beans and carrots.
[what's your favourite fruit?]: cherries
[drink alcohol?]: im a social drinker
[smoke weed?]: not on the regular. i think ive smoked maybe 5 times in my life. the last two times were in africa, and i nearly passed out. ask me about it some time.
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: im not so nature-y, but if with the husband, i enjoy.
[trust others way too easily?]: yes... let one friend run up a $600 cell phone bill. i aint mad at her, she's irresponsible like that and i shouldve known. she doesnt talk to me anymore, b/c i slept w/her co-worker. oops, guess im the irresponsible one now!

W H I C H . I S . B E T T E R-
[coke or Pepsi} : i dont generally drink soda, but if pressed, pepsi.
[flowers or candy]: neither. i'd like a nice msg on my machine when i get home, or a note, those are nice.
[tall or short]: i thought i was only about the tall until i met my husband.

-W I T H .T H E. O P P O S I T E. S E X-
[what do you notice first?]: eyebrows.
[dream boy/girlfriend]: the one i married

-W H O-
[makes you laugh the most?]: kanesha
[makes you smile]: my godson Akaio
[gives you a funny feeling when you see them]: tewodros
[has a crush on you?]: burtson
[do you find easiest to talk to]: strangers

D O. Y O U .E V E R-
[hate] white people, every fucking day.
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. you?]: nah
[save aol/aim conversations]: i have once or twice.
[wish you were a member of the opposite sex]: not since jr high school

W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-
[you talked to on the phone]: the husband
[hugged]: momma [you instant messaged]: szymon.
[you laughed with]: sandra g.

-D O .Y O U-
[color your hair]: sometimes. i like cherry red, pink, and black.
[ever get off the damn computer]: forget you!
[habla espanol]: si, pero un poco solomente

-N U M B E R-
[of times I have had my heart broken?]: oh god, i hate that rat-bastard to this day!!!!!!!!!!! just kidding...
[of hearts I have broken?]: ooohh.. im feeling hated on...
[of times u had sex this week]: nona.
[of boys I have kissed?]: *pish* like 100?
[of girls I have kissed?]: no... never... ever... not that theres anything wrong with that, but hey... i know who i am.
[of drugs taken illegally?]: does weed count? if so, 1.
[of cd's that i own?]: *pish* like 100?
[of scars on my body?]: none, im flawless
[of things in my past that i regret?]: 5 things a day, everyday, for the last 29 years.

roshini.net

my favorite new website is www.roshini.net. It’s her hair journal that I found completely by accident, I was probably doing a google image search on something hair related. I look at hair pictures a lot, they inspire me. To what, im not sure, b/c I know I’ll never put a chemical relaxer in my hair again, I only did 4 years of that nonsense and it was enough. I look up pictures of locks a lot b/c I miss mine. Every picture I see, every person I see them with, I think to myself, “my locks was tougher than that.” Is that bad? I look at natural hair style pictures, trying to bide my time and have patience as my hair grows. I had locks for 7 years, and then I cut them off. A month later, I shaved my head completely. It’s a year later, I have a mad afro now, and im looking forward to them cute Bantu knots (which I first wore in 1994 by the way, youngsters).

i have a heterosexual crush on roshini, I aspire to be like her. She is black, around my age, natural hair. She’s cute and funny and strives to better herself in all ways. she battles w/depression and was medicated for a couple of years. i dont know if she still is. i am, but i dont take the pills regularly as i should. She’s struggling with traction alopecia (goddamned headwraps. I knew deep down wearing them heavy locks w/cloth everyday wasn’t good for me, but you couldn’t tell me nothing back then, I thought I was too cute). I think im going to start using some of her journal topics to do my own too, write about my goals, etc. I write about sex too much. Do too many stupid surveys.