fb things i hate.

i like facebook.

people who are completely anti-facebook are taking it too seriously.

but there are some things i dont like about facebook.

• having a profile pic that doesnt include your face, especially when you send me a friend invite.
• using something not your name for your name, like John ImSoFlyWearingABowTie Jones.
• posting x-rated things. everyone sees you, so put your best forward. that's not being fake, it's good manners.
• being passive aggressive with your posts/updates, like, "“Paris Wannabe knows that some friends aren’t what they say that are and are really talking behind my back!”
• friend requesting me if we've met once in passing.
• random guys i dont know trying to holla... although i must admit i dont get this too often.
• invites/posts/updates about all fb games & apps (farmville, mafia, bakeshop, whatthefuckeveridontcare).
• a gajillion photos posted to an album with only 3 worth looking at. dont just plug in your camera, upload, and walk away.  delete the crappy photos.
• getting spammed about an event. fb is for friends, not for promoting yourself/your events.
• your super private privacy settings. youre not that important.

bender, gotbf (knit in the round)

Bender, Guardian of the Bum Fodder

by Elizabeth Jarvis
this is a great free pattern on ravelry, however, it is written flat knit & in several pieces needing to be assembled. these are my alterations for knitting in the round & making as few separate pieces as i could think of. the body, head, teeth, & antennae are knit in one piece, then i knit two arms, two legs, two eyes, and the eye surround. i didnt make fingers b/c i am lazy, but the original pattern has instructions for them. i used worsted wt yarn on 3.5 mm needles. ravelry link for my bender is here. please msg me if you have suggestions to more clearly write out this pattern.


body, head, teeth, antennae (knit in the round in one piece from the base up):

cast on 57 stitches on 3.5mm needles,

join to knit in the round for 4.25 inches
(or however tall your toilet paper/paper towel roll is).
next did one row of purl for body definition
one more row of knit.
then began decrease:
row 1.*k2 tog, k6;* repeat, end with k1

row 2 (and row 4) knit
row 3. *k2 tog, k5;* repeat. end with k1.
row 5. *k2 tog, k4;* repeat. end with k1
at this point, i had 36 stitches.
continue knitting, next is the head.
purl one row
knit for 5 rows
start the teeth. youre on your own for that part, i dont know how to type out how i did it. i did something like intarsia knitting. all i can tell you is that the teeth were 15 stitches long and 8 rows tall.
continue st st until head is 3.5 inches from base (the last purl row).

head decrease:
row 1: *k2tog, k6* repeat, end with k2tog, k2.
row 2: (and row 4, 6, & 8): knit
row 3: *k2tog, k5* repeat, end with k2tog, k1
row 5: *k2tog, k4* repeat, end with k2tog
row 7: *k2tog, k3* repeat, end with k1
row 9:  *k2tog, k2* repeat, end with k1
at this point, im left with 13 stitches.
continue; next is the joint on the head:
row 10: purl
row 11-13:knit
row 14: purl
row 15: p2tog, end with p1
now im left with 7 stitches.switched to darker color for antennae
row 1-10: knit
switch back to main color
row 1: increase to 14 stitches (use M1 or ktfbl for each stitch)
row 2-4: knit
row 5: *k2tog,* repeat
cut long tail, pull tight & sew in, it makes something like a ball at the tip. a cut bit of a plastic straw holds the antennae straight and part of an 8 oz water bottle for bender's head works really well as an alternative to stuffing.

legs & feet:
co 12, join in the round. leave a long tail to sew to body later.
all st stitch, as long as you want, with every 5th row with the contrast color yarn for the stripes.
when the leg is the length you want, purl one row and knit one row. next are feet:
row 1: *k2, inc in nxt stitch*, repeat (for increase, i like M1, but you can also do ktfbl)
rows 2,4 and 6, knit
row 3: *k3, inc in next st,* repeat
row 5: *k4, inc in next st,* repeat
row 7: purl (this marks the edge of the foot)
row 8: k4, *k2tog, k2*repeat
row 9: k3, *k2tog, k1* repeat, end with k1
row 10: knit
row 11: k2tog, repeat
with darning needle, pull through the stitches and pull tight to close.


arm cuff, arm, & hands
co 18 st, join in the round. leave long tail to sew to body later.
row 1-4: knit
row 5: purl
row 6: knit
row 7: k2tog, k2, k2tog, k2,  k2tog, k1,  k2tog, k2, k2tog, k1 (leaving 12 st)
now the arm cuff is done. next is the arm.
continue with all st stitch, as long as you want, with every 5th row with the contrast color yarn for the stripes.
next is hands:
purl one row
Row 1 *k2, inc in next st, rpt from * to end of row (16 sts)
Row 2, 3, &4: knit
Row 5 *k3, inc in next st, rpt from * to end of row (20 sts)
Row 6 purl (this marks edge of hand)
row 7: knit
Row 8 k2, *k2tog, k1, rpt from* to end of row (14 sts)
Row 9 *k2tog, rpt from * to end of row (7 sts)
Cut yarn leaving a tail. Thread through rem sts and pull tight.

eyes (make 2)
cast on 12, join in the round.
knit 4 rows.
Next row - *k2tog,* repeat.
Cut yarn leaving a tail.
Thread through rem sts and pull tight.

eye surround:
cast on 35 stitches. join in the round, knit for 7 rows. switch to blk yarn, knit for another 7 rows.

nice surprises

i just overheard my dad's conversation & him saying, "anyone that can speak two languages cannot be dumb," reminiscing about how much time he spent in the philipines but was never able to grasp tagalog. i just feel really good about hearing him say that. ive encountered so much non-north american bashing during my time in korea, and to hear something positive for once makes me feel good,and i feel extra good that it's coming from my family. i love you, dad.