Men who are you dating?

Women, which category do you fall in?

GIRLS need this to identify themselves.

GROWN WOMEN already knew this

GIRLS leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.

GROWN ASS WOMEN make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits in.

GIRLS want to control the man in their life.

GROWN ASS WOMEN know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

GIRLS check you for not calling them.

GROWN ASS WOMEN are too busy to realize you hadn't.

GIRLS try to put a man 'on lock' by using sex.

GROWN ASS WOMEN know that it's the sex of the mental kind that makes a man want to 'lock' you down.

GIRLS fake-moan, lay there and take the stabbing.

GROWN ASS WOMEN say, "Just stop", get up, get dressed and walk it out.

GIRLS are afraid to be alone.

GROWN ASS WOMEN revel in it-- using it as a time for personal growth.

GIRLS ignore the good guys.

GROWN ASS WOMEN ignore the bad guys.

GIRLS worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.

GROWN ASS WOMEN know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

GIRLS try to monopolize all their man's time (i.e, don't want him hanging with his friends).

GROWN ASS WOMEN realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special -- and goes to kick it with her own friends!

GIRLS think a guy crying is weak.

GROWN ASS WOMEN offer their shoulder and a tissue.

GIRLS want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.

GROWN ASS WOMEN 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate w/o fear of losing his 'manhood'.

GIRLS get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.

GROWN ASS WOMEN know that that was just one man.

GIRLS fall in love, chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all 'signs'.

GROWN ASS WOMEN know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love you back -- and move on, without bitterness.

GIRLS will read this and get an attitude.

GROWN ASS WOMEN will read this and know which one I am.

no title

Date: Fri, 24 Feb 2006

Greetings all. I am currently in the process of applying for a job as dispatch operator for the SanDiego Police Department. As you may or may not know, I've had phone/operator jobs for the bulk of my work history. Not my dream job, but the salary at the Police Department is twice what I make now, and now that I am married, the extra income will really help.An extensive background check is done for anyone who applies with the department, in case you are contacted, that is the reason why.  I am not asking you to lie on my behalf or try to make me out to more than I am/was, please go ahead and be honest (and forgiving, if you are one of my former employers!); I just wanted to give you all a heads up if you are called –sha

Date: Sat, 25 Feb 2006

From: Chris

the only thing I'll tell them is that you are part of the "mafia."

high school survey

Your senior year in High School is supposed to be "the best year of your life." Let's see how much you remember

year: 1994

Who was your best friend? didnt really have one. by senior year i had a stupid jealous would-be thug boyfriend (at the time he was age 24 mind you!) who tripped out over anybody calling me. so it was me and him all the damn time, he'd always be chillin at my house asking me to cook him a steak. and i'd do it, too! guh, i was such an idiot back then.

Who did you have a crush on? his name was Oz. i'd watch him from across the lunch court (only half the time b/c he ditched school all the damn time) he'd always wear dickies and a wife pleaser and had nice wide back and a little waist and ooooh the most beautiful sculpted arms i'd ever seen. oh, and i used to love me some eric, some trouble making pasty white guy w/black black black hair and black facial scruff, i thought he was so hot. i'd watch him during lunch hour, he'd play handball and ALWAYS took his shirt off and i'd have fantasies of meeting him at that racketball court and him fucking me against the chain link fence. keep in mind that i was a virgin up all throughout high school up until 3 months before graduation and i didnt know anything about fucking, but i just KNEW eric and oz were good at it. oh and the list of mexicans i wanted went on for days--jesus from math class, apolinar from lunch, that sleepy eyed mutha fucka from government...ay papi.

What sports did you play? i was exceedingly bad at all sports. i never got hirer than a C in PE, and i only got that high a grade b/c despite how much i hated it all, i always suited up and played the damn games. everyone on my team would get all mad at me b/c i could never catch the ball. oh boo, who gave a fuck.

What kind of car did you drive? dodge omni, which i promptly crashed two months after getting my license. no liquor involved, i was just a shitty driver.

It's Friday night, where were you at? at home fucking my boyfriend in the closet, b/c my parents wouldnt let me shut the bedroom door.

Were you in the "In Crowd"? Nall

Ever skip school? to stay home and work on some paper due 6th period.

Ever smoke? i had a cigarette or two b/c i thought it looked cool. but i never did it in front of everybody! i was so stupid!

Were you a nerd? nerds at my school were only the AP students, and there was only one black person among them. i remember her, her name was kelly, she had long hair, and then senior year she cut it off and the whole black nation at plhs acted like it was world ending.

Did you get suspened/expelled? nall.

Can you sing the Alma Mater? no, i remember the words were printed in the school folder and i asked every teacher i had as well as a bunch of the office staff how the song went and nobody knew. i just really wanted to know what it sounded like. but the unofficial school song was Atomic Dog by george clinton, and unoficially every time it played, a true pointer had to get up and dance no matter what. but yeah, this was only among the melinated.

Who was your favorite teacher? I had the biggest fucking clitoral hard on for Mr. seckington, the algebra teacher. i used to write obscene scenarios of how i wanted him to fuck me in class. oh, and coach davalos. it was all the rumor in the girls locker room that he was a child molester and i wanted him to molest me soooo baaaad...

Favorite class? art, bitches!What was your schools full name? point loma senior high school.

School mascot? the pointer dog.

Did you go to Prom? yeah, with that stupid old ass boyfriend.

Where did you work? pish, i was hitting up Dad for money. that stupid old ass boyfriend NEVER had any money. he didnt even pay for the prom tickets. loser.

If you could go back and do it over, would you? i would, to fix some things. i never wouldve permed my hair. I would have fucked adam mastrucci. i wouldve been a better student. i would've said fuck underage drinking fears and drunk up at that ONE party i went to. i would've fucked james AT that party. i wouldve been a friend to chris jones b/c he was a nerd and everyone was mean to him. i wasnt mean, but i wasnt nice either.

Last one, favorite memory of your Senior Year? meh.








Currently watching:
Say Anything
Release date: 05 March, 2002

some stranger's livejournal post that struck a chord.

thanks to steven for forwarding this one around.

I was driving down the highway today and came up behind an old man in a hunting cap who was driving a pickup truck. On the back of the tailgate, he had a Jesus fish decal, a Support Our Troops ribbon, a God Bless The US sticker, and a sign that read "On the 8th Day, God Made The Packers" (Wisconsin's football team).

i was busily fitting him into a box, to be labeled "ignorant truck-drivin' beer-swillin' redneck", when I saw the ribbon in the middle--a rainbow one that read "LOVE IS FOR EVERYONE".

I'm posting this so I'll remember some things I shouldn't have needed a ribbon to remind me:
Loving your country doesn't make you stupid.

• Loving sports doesn't make you shallow.
• Wanting soldiers not to feel shame doesn't make you a warmonger.
• Loving God doesn't make you ignorant.
• Love is for everyone.

a love story

didnt write this, just think it's funny.

I will seek and find you
I shall take you to bed and have my way with you .
I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.
I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'mfinished with you.
And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

All my love,
The Flu

survey

339. Do you carry any weapons on you:

crowbar, fists and my attitude

world without black people

A very humorous and revealing story is told about a group of white people who were fed up with African Americans, so they joined together and wished themselves away. They passed through a deep dark tunnel and emerged in sort of a twilight zone where there is an America without black people.At first these white people breathed a sigh of relief. At last, they said, No more crime, drugs, violence and welfare. All of the blacks! have gone! Then suddenly, reality set in. The "NEW AMERICA" is not America at all-only a barren land.

1. There are very few crops that have flourished because the nation was built on a slave-supported system.

2. There are no cities with tall skyscrapers because Alexander Mils, a black man, invented the elevator, and without it, one finds great difficulty reaching higher floors.

3. There are few if any cars because Richard Spikes, a black man, invented the automatic gear shift, Joseph Gambol, also black, invented the Super Charge System for Internal Combustion Engines, and Garrett A. Morgan, a black man, invented the traffic signals.

4. Furthermore, one could not use the rapid transit system because its procurer was the electric trolley, which was invented by another black man, Albert R. Robinson.

5. Even if there were streets on which cars and a rapid transit system could operate, they were cluttered with paper because an African American, Charles Brooks, invented the street sweeper.

6. There were few if any newspapers, magazines and books because John Love invented the pencil sharpener, William Purveys invented the fountain pen, and Lee Barrage invented the Type Writing Machine and W. A. Love invented the Advanced Printing Press. They were all, you guessed it, Black.

7. Even if Americans could write their letters, articles and books, they would not have been transported by mail because William Barry invented the Postmarking and Canceling Machine! William Purveys invented the Hand Stamp andPhilip Downing invented the Letter Drop.

8. The lawns were brown and wilted because Joseph Smith invented the Lawn Sprinkler and John Burr invented the Lawn Mower.

9. When they entered their homes, they found them to be poorly ventilated and poorly heated. You see, Frederick Jones invented the Air Conditioner and Alice Parker the Heating Furnace. Their homes were also dim. But of course, Lewis Lattimer Later invented the Electric Lamp, Michael Harvey invented the lantern and Granville T. Woods invented the Automatic Cut off Switch.Their homes were also filthy because Thomas W. Steward invented the Mop & Lloyd P. Ray the Dust Pan.

10. Their children met them at the door-barefooted, shabby, motley and unkempt. But what could one expect? Jan E. Matzelinger invented the Shoe Lasting Machine, Walter Sammons invented the Comb, Sarah Boone invented the Ironing Board and George T. Samon invented the Clothes Dryer.

Finally, they were resigned to at least have dinner amidst all of this turmoil. But here again, the food had spoiled because another Black Man, John Standard invented the refrigerator.

Now, isn't that something? What would this country be like without the contributions of Blacks, as African-Americans?Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "by the time we leave for work, Americans have depended on the inventions from the minds of Blacks."

Black history includes more than just slavery, Frederick Douglass, Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, and Marcus Garvey & W.E.B. Dubois.

And my own lil Mario fact. A black man named Lonnie Johnson who did thermodynamics for NASA, invented the Super Soaker. Now how fun are those water fights?

make a wish

The person above you makes a wish ("I wish I had a banana"), and then the person below grants your wish, and then wishes something else, but Your wish is messed up...

Let the game begin...

1. Raharu----I wish I could find my Vespa keys.
2. Kat-kashi----Granted, but the Vespa keys r broken. I wish i had a cookie.
3.Hotokaru~ Granted, but the cookie is old and moldy. I wish i had the perfect girl (and i do now)
4.jessica~granted but she talk weried.i wish i had the perfect guy.
5. Jessica(the other one lol)- granted but he has genital herpes. I wish there was overnight weight loss
6. Michael - Granted, but as a result your vagina falls out and you join the freak show....I wish I had the perfect body
7. Carissa - granted but you live in your mother's basement for the rest of your life...I wish I could fly
8. Laura- granted but you run into a tall tree you didn't see and break a leg......I wish I wasn't lonely and didn't like jerks.
9. Leslie- Granted...but now you are surrounded at all times including in your sleep and instead of jerks you only like gay guys. .......I wish that i could fall out of love with someone that probably isnt right for me.
10. Ryan- Granted, but you sometimes see him in other people. I wish I could start High School over with the knowledge I have now.
11. Ben - Granted, but you're blind, mute, and deaf. (OWNED SON!!!) I wish there were more greaser chicks at Burros.
12. Ryan- Granted, but you get penis cancer. (ooohhh, owned!) I wish I could find my damned remote for my TV. :
13. Reggie- Granted, but its missing batteries and there are no batteries in ur house. I wish parents would go on vacation.
14.Rachael B.~ Granted, but they decide to enjoy their vacation in your room. I wish a good guy would come along and sweep me off my feet.
15. Amy - Wish granted Rachael, but when this great guy sweeps you off your feet he tosses you off a cliff when you make him mad... haha love ya sis... I wish I had a Range Rover hahaa... make that an orange one!
16. Wish granted~ but it turns into a pumkin at midnight! i wish we could all just get along! Lol
17.Sweet...your wish is granted!.....BUT then everybody gangs up each other and the whole world is done Sorry ! But I wish for a smaller wanger ! LOL
18/ Granted~ but now your a female. i wish i was wanted
19. George --- Granted~ but you are wanted by Homeland Security. I wish I had a time machine, that could travel to anytime, I could change anything and I was safe from paradox. (Try to mess this one up!)
20.walter- Granted but you travel to the past and blow several important fuses. I wish the girl i liked would like me in return
21.) granted, but the girl you like is a retarded bitch...i wish i lived in san francisco
22.) granted but youre a very flamboiant gay man with a bug butt. I wish I wasnt at work!
23)granted-but then you would be picking out the china patterns with your sonn to be wife....i wish that no one will be able to screw this wish up.
24)Jesse-Granted!-But then every time you opened your mouth to speak you burped first.I wish I could find "Mrs. Perfect for me in this system of things!"
25) Cristina~ GRANTED!! But she's gonna be long distance..lo siento! (I wish.. i really found the "im that guy" post... )
26) Maria**GRANTED** but he's invisible! I wish for more fun games like this... heheh!
27) Lexi ~ granted, but no one sends them to you! I wish I was happily married (this game is so mean lol)]
28) Nick - Granted...but he leaves you for a midget with bigger boobs. I wish i wasnt so sleepy.
29) Granted, Youre dead. I wish I had a million dollars and a gorgeous female companion
30) Amber-Granted, your shady tax evasion leaves you broke and your gorgeous female companion has botched plastic surgery. I wish I had unlimited wishes.
21)Miriah- Granted, your wish granter is deaf and you don't know sign language, so all your wishes get screwed up. I wish I had Bill Gates money.
22)Dustin- Granted-youll get all the money...right after you make sweet sweet love to me.haha. I wish i could find some half way decent band members.
23) Bekah--Granted! But they foreigners who dont speak English and dont even want to play in your band anyway. I wish I could find the love of my life soon!
24)Cindy--Granted!! but then he decides to have a sex change and your stuck with him...uh...her?... till death do you part. i wish i could meet a guy who will call when he says he will call.
25) Vicki ~ Granted!!! But...he only calls once. I wish guys didn't play games...
26)Dani~ Granted!but... the games he was wantin to play were kinky SEX games....so hurry- take the wish back Vicki!!!! HURRY!!!!! I wish I had a young sexy energetic man standing in front of me mmmm......
27) Ashley Granted! But he suffers from impotence so badly that the little blue pill cant help! I wish I had a non office job!
28) James Granted..Bu the street corner you started working gets taken out by the new 269 bypass..I wish I had ticket to the Super Bowl!
29) MaJiK - Granted but it is a ticket stubb from the 1985 Super Bowl, but hey it is signed by Chicago's Fridge Perry! I wish I had a vacation home on a tropical island!
30) Dave ~ Granted but it's a result of just a 4 hour tour, with Gilligan and the Skipper. I wish I'd win the PowerBall Jackpot!
31) Todd ~ Granted but so does 10,000,000 others leaving you with $5.24 after taxes. I wish MySpace didn't suck so bad.
32.) Sara~ granted, but then Tom would be sitting on a Hawaiian Island somewhere and not have to work. We don't want that do we? I wish that I knew where to put all the junk that I own...
33.) Korie- Granted, but now you only have a cardboard box on the corner to live in. I wish my boyfriend would FINALLY propose to me......
34.) Nina - Granted, but you now are pregnant with septuplets. I wish that Jesse Palmer would come back to Houston and take me out on a date....
35.) Jamie - Granted, but he has since changed his name to Jessica Palmer and really just wants to play with your hair and makeup. I wish I could finally find the job of my dreams...
35)Purple Bull - Granted, but you work underneath your worst enemy, and can never get quit or fired! I wish I were a super model/actor.
36.) Robyn- Granted, but you're a flaming homosexual who's been out of work for 3 years. ok, I wish I were having sex right now. ;-)
37.) Bamboo-Granted, but the dude that your having sex with is only 14!!! lol, I wish i had more money then bill gates and a little fishing boat?
38.) Lonnie- Granted, but on your first outing in your little fishing boat Jaws comes out of no where and bites your face off, the detectives postulate the only reason Jaws owned you was because the boat was too small. I wish I had some more roofie pills. (The weekends coming up) haha!
39) amanda - granted, but your friends put all the roofie pills in your drink and you get ass raped in the back alley of vino's. i wish i had a bitchin new house on the hill with a maserati spider in the garage.
40)onyx - granted, but due to a major mudslide that bitchin' new house and awesome car slid off the hill into the seventh level of hell...I wish I had true love...
41)Mistress Sierra - granted, but you're true love is a monkey and he craps all over your house all the time. I wish I had a pair of thigh high boots.
42) Rune- Granted, but they're a size 14 in mens. I wish I was a telekinetic with enough power to pitch monster trucks at people!
43)Cherie - Granted but it only works when you are naked and in a semi-erect state. I wish I could drink beer at work.
44)..m/ Chris Payne ..m/ - Granted, but the beer is flat, out of date and warm. I wish there weren't so many bands that sucked ass these days.
45). -Jon- Granted, but the good ones only play single song sets with shitty P/A's and never write anything new. I wish I made money playing music
46. Rick- Granted, but it might have to take playing all ages venues til you are signed. I wish I could see someone right now..they know who they are..
47) morir sonando - granted, but they have amnesia and because of it, forgot to take their meds. i wish you were a beer.
48) tabatha-granted, but i'm non-alcoholic. i wish i had a time machine.
49) Sinclair - granted, but it's powered by and blares shitty nu-metal while time traveling. I wish I had a cigarette
50)MistressCorrine~GRANTED,but you have no heat or fire source to light it...I wish I could quit smoking and actually stay a non smoker.
51) K.Edweird: Granted, but you must join AA and suffer for all the 2nd-hand smoke!--- I wish there were more good pirate movies.
52) Shinobu: Granted, but they all star Tom Cruise in the lead role. I wish for a house.
53) Sunshine: That house will be built on an ancient Indian burial groud. I wish I didn't have to go to work in an hour.
54)heather: Granted!, but you realize you have to be there in ten minutes.....i wish i had superpowers and could fly around in my hot leather costume and i didnt have to worry about villians
55)Jonathan: Granted, but you're an amputee victim with multiple personality disorder. I wish I had money to buy food.
56)Heather C.~Granted but your money is only good in a Monopoly World.......I wish I was 21 already!......
57) Lindsay ~ Wish granted but the legal drinking age is now 25, I wish I had a new car.
58) Shannon~ Granted... but the car blows up the next day. I wish I had a million dollars!
59) Mike H~Granted.....But the guy that does your taxes is a compulsive gambler like my friend Jonathan and he got hit in the nuts real hard and took all your money to Mexico never to be seen again........I wish I had a sugar Mama!
60) Austin- Granted but come to find out she is leg licker and leaves you......I wish I had this job back home so I could always be home and not here
61) Andrew-Grated but your old job moved to Texas! I wish I were going back to Okinawa, Japan!
62) Aaron - Wish granted but a volcano erupted and destroyed the only strip club. (ChiChi's baby). I wish I could never work, but still get a paycheck.
63)Andy-Wish Granted, but you put down the wrong routing number for your automatic pay and it always gets transfered to my account (ooo two birds, one stone) I wished my front yard didn't look hayness!!!
64. Venessa - Wish Granted, but the backyard gets all the mess that was in the front....... I wish I was a little bit taller
65. Marsee ~ wish granted, but for every inch you grow, jason shrinks by two. I wish i had bigger boobies!
66. Davey- wish granted Marsee, but everytime your boobs grow your face distorts making you look more like rocky dennis..... I wish I can spit venom
67. Frankie - wish granted DAVEY! ....... BUT everytime you spit venom your penis shrinks (smaller u say!?!?!) and it feels like someone is probing your penis hole with a thin wire with each spit you take. I wish I had nice friends.
68. Cilla - wish granted frankie.. but that friend is ME!!! we'll have sleep overs, paint each other nails, and eat popcorn till we puke! oh fun times!!!! i wish i could sing.
69. (YAAAAY, my favorite number) Aileen- wish granted Priscilla, but all you could sing was songs from the country music channel. I wish I could legally sell drugs now (try and mess that one up) ; )
70. Lipa-granted Aileen, but you're legally selling Midol, I wish I had a nice butt.
71. Sheena - Lipa, wish granted!! However, I know you want a nice butt, but no pants fit right, low rise is just not for booty girls. Besides the guys ALWAYS stare! I wish I didnt need contacts or glasses!
72. D-HOP - Wish granted, but because u can finally see what u really look like, u get conceited and lose all your friends.... I wish i had a new car
73. Nakia ~ Wish granted, but your note is hella high and u get in a small accident which causes your insurance to skyrocket and now, you can't pay your rent. I wish I was a lil bit taller.
74. CANDICE~ Nakia your wish is granted, but you are now 7ft 9 and no guy will date u and no one wants to be your friend because u are taller than everyone and because of your height you will spend the rest of your life alone : (!! I wish that I was done with college...
75. Tracy~ Candice, Your wish is granted, although you should keep in mind that just because you have a piece of paper that says degree does not mean a career will be handed to you, you have to get on your grind and start from the bottom like everyone else. I wish I could buy my dream home.....
76. COURTNEY~ granted however, your dream home is located in Bakersfield and you live near a nuclear power plant. Also, your house is awesome but you come to find out that you will spend thousands of dollars in property taxes and granite counter tops... I wish Dan and I wouldn't fight and argue so much...
77. Kimmy~ Court, your wish is granted!! However, since you dont fight anymore and everything is honky dory the wedding is moved up to ..... TOMMOROW!!!! Better get planning!! I wish that I could lose weight by eating burritos and pizza all day long!!!
78. Gina - Kimmy your wish is granted. You eat burritos and pizza all day long but you lose weight because your right leg fell off. I wish my job would burn to the ground so I didn't have to come here anymore.
79. Angela~~~ Gina your wish is granted, your work burned to the ground but your order from the passion party was in the flames, so it is destroyed. I wish I was out of debt
80. allison- angela your wish is granted your out of debt and you have some to spair. i wish i was smarter.
81. Jarrod - Granted, but you become so smart that your brain explodes and you die. I wish that I could see Izzy more often. ^_^
82. MissKaitlin- Granted, but then you find out she's a giant lizard instead of a chick. Nobody can be that beautiful, damnit. I wish Kevin lived right across the street.
83. Diabolical Beauty - Granted, But a meteor crashes in the middle of the street, Creating an endless pit leading straight to Hell's chambers, Blocking you from your love. I wish I could teleport...
84. Jimmy -Granted, but you end up in my bed without a condom. and instead of me thats gonna tap that ass, its my giant robot! *que entrance of robot*! I wish i had a giant robot that could grant me better wishes then this shit....
85. Brendan - Granted, but the giant robot malfunctions, and kicks you so hard in the nuts you cant ever have sex again... I wish i didnt waste my time reading this whole thing
86. Jason - Granted, but the time vortex used to send you back in time to before you read it all malfunctions, and sends you back to colonial America, where the Puritans stone you to death for your hair. I wish more of my friends played World of Warcraft with me. (
87) Neon John - Granted - BUUUUT world of warcraft servers go offline...and when i say go offline I mean your computers all explode at the same time and you're all merged into one gigantic super computer virus to wreak havoc on all other online roleplaying games ...problem is....you can't drink mountain dew as a virus now can you? --- I wish it was legal for me and ONLY ME to kill people (and accepted world wide as an act of god((even god approved))
[88]CharlesGranted, but, as you begin to kill all the A-holes you've run across in your lifetime, you realize that you have formed in yourself an insatiable bloodlust that will not be satisfied until you and ONLY YOU are alive on this planet. And then God sees you and is like..."I always knew John was a prick" and he shrinks you down to the size of an ant right next to one of those runny nose kids who pulls wings off of butterflies for fun. I wish I owned Texas.
89. bridget- granted, chuckles, but when you get the deed to texas you realize youve been scammed and now own every tampon in the world instead.... ha ha! i wish i had some beer
90. cynthia - Granted but all of the beer you have tastes like skunk spray and when you finally find a bottle that doesnt taste absolutely awfull your lips lock shut and you have to try to drink it through your nose. i wish for a new wardrobe
91. Kristi - Granted my dear, but your new wardrobe only has brown clothes. Brown pants, brown shirts, brown underroo's, brown shoes, everything is brown and 4 times to big for you. I wish that Daisie's farts didn't stink so bad!
92. Weez- GRANTED! Only the smell will now be coming out of the other end! I wish it was sunny and warm outside.
93. Sean- GRANTED!!! but it will be the only day this year that it is, and you will be all hung over from a long night's drinking the night before, and wont enjoy a minute of it!!! I wish to have more wishes, and to grant everyone's wishes, so that the list doesnt ever get this fucking long ever again!!!!
94.Sarah- GRANTED!!!! Only, you know it's never going to stop..I wish I guys were NOT suck Pricks!!
95. Peggy~ granted....only then you realize their all gay and you can never have nothing more than an wesome friendship with them..hahahaha.............. I wish all the mean people in my life would just disappear and never to be heard from again.
96. Kitrina~~ GRANTED... only now you understand that every person has some meanness in them and now everyone is gone.. (great peggy, you just ended the world)...... I wish for unconditional love and happiness.
97. Valerie- Granted... but it will only be from your family and friends-- JUST KIDDING. I wish I had millions of dollars.
98. Jeremy - Granted but next you'll wish for more $ because you'll realize 1 mill is not enough---I wish for a new pair of shoes - That Fly!!
99. jESSICA-- GRANTED BUT THEY WILL EXPLODE THE MINUTE THEY FLY!!! I WISH I COULD PARTY EVERY NIGHT!!! WITH NO HANGOVER!!
100. Your Parents - Granted! But you'll be pregnant with twins and it will burn when you pee! We are so proud of you! Your Parents wish we could make a guest appearance on the Lucy and Desi Comedy Hour! That was Your Parents' Favorite Show!
101.Zimharp~ granted, but yer trapped on that particular episope of Lucy and Desi FOREVER AND EVER!!! I wish for the chickens not to eat my raddish seedlings
102. fancy pants - granted, but their new diet consists only of firstborn children and superplus gasoline. I wish for a glow in the dark pussy.
103. La Senora-granted, but then the glow grows so bright, you can see it all the time, through your undies, through your clothes, and it blinks like hazard lights. the glow grows so strong it starts to omit heat and burns your clothes off and no penis or tongue will come near you ever again, b/c theres no such thing as heat-resistant condoms or dental dams. i wish i had kung fu fighting poowers that would make bruce lee go "ooooooooo...."

hello my name is

Body:

1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (first pet and street name) Alice San Jacinto. pretty fresh...

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on mother's side first name, favorite candy) Ester Twix. Or Ester Special Dark. hmm, that sound more like my porn name.

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name) S-Mek. smek??? oh god, thats terrible!

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal, name of high school mascot) kitty Pointer. i must have a destiny in the porn industry.

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) Alemu Kenagawa Ken. chinese opera?

6. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME: (name of dad/mom, cell phone Company you use) Robert Sprint. i think thats who i'd be fucking in my porn.

7. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name) Mekdrogod. ohshit, thats a good one! move over, boba fet!

worst movie ever

worst movie ever:

29)sha~diggity-worst movie ever is basket case. if you love low budget B horror movies, maybe this'll do it for you. this is a movie about conjoined twins, only one looks normal and the other looks like a blob of flesh with cross eyes, baby arms, and fucked up teeth. the parents decide to have thier sons surgically separated knowing that the deformed one will die, but the brotherly bond is so strong, the deformed thing lives. the brother keeps it in a basket. then it gets out at kills everyone that tries to get close to his brother. But there is full frontal male nudity, woo hoo!

duos

1. Carol ~ Batman & Robin
2. Hot Ass Groupie ~ Thelma & Louise
3. Allison - Neo & Trinity
4. Barb - Sonny & Cher
5. Huss-N-Fuss ~ Abbott & Costello
6. Nick~Bonnie & Clyde
7. it doesn't get any better than THIS~ Paris & Nicole
8. Lonnie ~ Wayne and Garth
9. Jennova~ Gummi and Bobear ok.. ok... Lindsay Lohan & Kate Moss
10. KYLE- TANGO & CASH
11. Jessie - pinky and the brain
12. Amy - Mork & Mindy
13. Nick (8th) Simon and Simon
14. Ellie - Ellie & Stephanie
15. bj - my dick and ballz j/k thats a treo yogi and boo boo
16. Frank ~ Cheech and Chong! Duh!!!
17. Savanna - Sara and Savanna! Love ya chica! LOL
18. Frank ~ Ebony and Ivory..lol
19) Boo Boo ~ Bert and Ernie
20) Shanna- Sid and Nancy
21)Andy-Stewie and Brian
22)Natalie-Starsky and Hutch
23) Andrew Erich - Han and Chewie, motherfuckers!
24) Henk-Jan - Bassie & Adriaan
25) Spintie - David Brent & Gareth Keenan
26) Eric - Rembo&Rembo
27) San Samuel - Sanne en Emiel!
28) shaun - mickey and mallory knox [as i am on scagnettis computer... for reals]
29) Ruben- Sanford and son
30) Lorraine- Itchy and Scratchy!!
31) philco)))re - Ruben & Raymond - The Brothers of Destruction !!!
32)lala-Brad Pitt,Angelina Jolie...Baby poppers
33) philco)))re - Captain and Tenille BITCHEZ!!!!
34) Jimmy Bower - Drunkbat & a bottle
35) G.C.P. - Ren & Stimpy, Foolz
36) THORGRIMM - KG & JB... Kage and Jabells... Jack Black and Kyle Gas... the infamous Tenacious D! Muthafukkah's...
37) DAWN / HBMOM - Smokey and the Bandit (hell yeah I won!!)
38) Franky - Sid and Marty Krofft (nah Dawn...I think I won.)
39) Sammy - Beavis & Butthead
40) Eliot- Ralph Cramden and Ed Norton, or Fred Flinstone and Barney Rubble (old school yo!)
41) Jon~ Tim McGraw & Faith Hill, Brooks & Dunn, Loggins & Messina
42) Brandi ~~~ Chico and The Man (ha!)
43) Q..... Michael Knight & KITT (double ha!)
44) Lord Darth SPO-- Kid N Play (WHAT!)
45) LyricL ----- Salt N Pepa (Ya'll don't know!)
46) Derrick ~~ BJ and the Bear ( step ya game up peoples)
47) Isley Nicole~ Bobby and Whitney.... hello????
48) John R -Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince/Stockton & Malone
49) Monalisa - McFadden & Whitehead (RIP), Gamble & Huff (TSOP), Albert & Moss (A&M), Rufus & Chaka, Ashes & Simpson (LOL)
50) miss sylvia - I'm still stickin' with Green Hornet & Kato (Bruce Lee, biaaatches)
51.) DJ Kaleem - Love And Happiness, Ups and Downs, Back and Forth, AND Ceephus and Reesie
52.) jboogie- jon and ponch (chips)
53) sha~diggity- Milli Vanilli (oh yeah...)
54) kanisha - antione merrywheather & blaine edwards--the gays dudes from in livin' color!!! ha, what'chall know 'bout dat, huh?!?! ike & tina ba-bay!!!!! ya'll ain't ready . . .
55) Tanis------Snoop & TuPac, Yo-Yo & Ice Cube, EPMD....come on na!!!!
54) Kanisha--andre tha giant & hulk hogan, belle $ sebastian, oh,oh, um dwayne & witley (what!?!?), ohhhhhhhhhhh Outkast!! HA!! i luh dem boys, penny and that damn bandaid . . . (good times).
54)sha~diggity-jonny quest & haji
55)sha~diggity-corey & corey
56)sha~diggity-turbo & ozone
57)sha~diggity-A&W (Root beer- named after inventors Allen and Wright)
58)sha~diggity-Abercrombie & Fitch
59)sha~diggity-chicken &waffles. aint no toppin none of that so i think we're done here
61) no, it ain't ova'. . . kanisha--felix and oscar (the odd couple),

62) kanisha--popeye and olive

63) kanisha--crocket & tubbs (miami vice)

64) kanisha--nick nolte and eddie murphy (48 hours)

65) kanisha--scarface & monolo

66) kanisha--chip & dale

67) kanisha--rudy & buuuud!

68) kanisha--sinclair & overton, what?!?!?! NOW, it's officially over, my friend

69) ahem.... sha~diggity-slap & tickle

70) sha~diggity-s&m

71) sha~diggity-shits and giggles

72) sha~diggity- chang & ang (the worlds first documents conjoined twins for siam).here's a chair, kanisha, go ahead and have a seat right there.

73) NO, NO, NO, NO kanisha--sigfreid & roy (that shoud'a been at tha top)

74) kanisha--mel gibson & danny glover (lethal weapon)

75) kanisha--kris kros7

6) kanisha--snoopy and that lil' yellow bird

77) kanisha--raggedy anne & andy

78) kanisha--ozzie davis & ruby dee

79) kanisha--harpo & ms sophia!! (you tol' ha'po ta beat me)sha, anything more to add dear?? i think not. . .

80)sha~diggity-fire & brimstone

81)sha~diggity-tonsils & adenoids

82)sha~diggity-keenan & kel

83)sha~diggity-the owl & the pussy cat

84)sha~diggity-and the dish ran away with the spoon... along w/kanisha's wack ass duos.

85)OH NO SHE DIDN'T . . .lol.kanisha--adam & eve

86)kanisha--(tonsils and adenoids . . . fuck outta here . . . ) herpes & zovirax then!!

86)kanisha--eddie murphy & arsenio hall (comin' to america)

87)kanisha--damn owl & a pussycat?!?! who the hell R they?!?!? rosie & goldfish (inside joke, ya'll). nah, milo & otis, suckaaa!!

88)kanisha--tom & jerry

89)kanisha--heckle & jeckle, deal wit' it.. . . and that concludes this riveting game of famous duos . . . tune in later when Sha attempts to come back w/ more busted-ass duos like: peanut butter & jelly. . . or, dick and jane. later folks.aww naw, hol' up . . . pete rock & cl smooth, nice & smooth, ed lover & dr. dre . . . ok, NOW i'm done. ain't NONE a ya'll fuckin' with that . . . KANISHA.

90) Tanis----Snoop & Dre...Eric B & Rakim...Teena Marie & Rick James...Peaches & Herb...Roberta Flack & Donnie Hathaway...Lionel Richie & Diana Ross (endless love)......and BAM! French fries & ranch dressin'....

91)sha~diggity-the Illiad & the Odyssey

92)sha~diggity-cain & abel

93)sha~diggity-Big-Endian & Little-Endian

94)sha~diggity-leroy green & sho'nuff........ and we SHO'NUFF know this game is now ova.

96)kanisha--First off, Tanis, you's a fool fa that last one. i was roooollin'.secondly, sha it looks as if i'm gonna hafta' keep the party goin . . . '

95)kanisha--catholic priests & underage altar boys missy & timbaland (not magoo)

97)kanisha--mr miagi & the karate kid

98)kanisha--chris tucker & jackie chan (rush hour)

99)kanisha--ken & barbie, com'mon now!

100)kanisha--donny simpson & sherry whateverhernamewas 101)kanisha--FREE & A.J.

101)kanisha--eddie murphy & tha golden child, ii-ii-ii-ii-ii-iiiiiiii want tha knife . . . it's a wrap . . . a done da-da.

102)sha~diggity-salt & vinigar

103)sha~diggity-smoke & mirrors

104)sha~diggity-hollywood & vine

105)sha~diggity-mr miagi & daniel-son... oh, no wait, kanish already stole that one from me. nevermind.

106)sha~diggity-david & goliath

107)sha~diggity- hustle & flow

more famous duos:
Arnold & willis-my coworker maria gets credit for this one, actually.
ant & grasshopper
Beany & Cecil
Bass & treble
Bangers & Mash
Betty and Veronica
Big-endian & Little-endian
Boardwalk & Park Place
Bubble & Squeak
Bunsen and Beaker
Cain & Abel
Calvin and Hobbes
Chang & Eng
Chocolate and peanut butter
Cloak and Dagger
Danger Mouse & Penfold
David & Goliath
Fire and Brimstone
Gin & tonic
Gumby & Pokey
Hall & Oates
Hammer & sickle
He-Man & She-Ra
He-Man & Skeletor
Hollywood and Vine
The Iliad & the Odyssey
The Jets and the Sharks (west side story)
Kenan & Kel
Lea & Perrins
Mario and Luigi
Mom and pop
New York City & Los Angeles
The Owl & the Pussycat
Salt & vinegar
Shave & a haircut
Slap & Tickle
Smoke and mirrors
Thunder & lightning
Tonsils & Adenoids

oh, pecan tan & apples. from san diego's own Rhythms!