a day without my cell phone

i left my cell phone at home today. so i imagine today is the day that:

• a company that i invested money in years ago will call to tell me i have a balance of a bajiliion dollars and it's mine all mine. 
• the long lost love will call to tell me how empty life has been without me and beg to be a part of my life again.
• an eccentric gajillionaire will call to say s/he found shaalemumekebeb.blogspot.com and gush about my talent and promise, and inquire if i have a patron, giving me the option to quit working and paint all the time.
• the friend who hasnt talked to me in 10 years will call to say sorry for all the time we've missed and we'll straight away get back to talking as if no time has passed at all.
• countless msgs will come in from people to say "im sorry for believing all that groundless chisme about you. I should've known that only small people talk about other people. from now on, if someone puts down your name, i will stand up for you."
• one of the students who managed to get my phone number will call to ask a very important grammar question and feel abandoned b/c i didnt answer the phone.

but reality: i'll come home to maybe one text msg, in korean, and it'll just be spam.